You remember very little of your old life. You were born in the same bed your father was born in and raised lovingly by a cabal of faceless corporate drones. As a child, you took pride in weird science experiments, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your love of gratuitous explosions came in. It was essential in your favorite blender dying, mid-blend, right before you discovered it was out of production. Your time for greatness is here. Yippie-ki-yay!
