Name: Chad and Brad
Age: 22 and 23
Height: 5'8" and 5'9" (Dating Profiles Say 6'1" and 6'2")
Weight: 55 and 158 ("We're shredded bro" - Chad and Brad)
Location: Amherst, MA
Education: 5th Year Super-Seniors at UMASS
Profession: Unemployed
Chad and Brad crush it on social media, bro. They pull chicks, bro.
They get shredded and post 27 IG Stories a day featuring nothing
but abs, bro. They remind you that they are "crushing it," bro. They tell you how hammered they are, bro.
Honestly, their content is can't miss. It's so cringeworthy and douchey that you have no choice but to follow along religiously. Where else will you witness an entire pack of Marlboro Red 100's get smoked in less than a minute, 3 in the mouth at a time? Or the bong rip 💨 to beer 🍺 shotgun to coke line rail 👃 combo?
They document everything, bro. Hopefully they are saving all of those IG Story archives, because the good times are coming to an end. When they finally walk at graduation to claim those diplomas it's time to enter the real world.
Fast-forward 10 years: Chad and Brad are both married with 3 kids to grenades they knocked up after a blackout Marathon Monday 🏃 (the Sox won, bro). They had to marry these women to avoid pissing of their ultra Catholic moms. Between contemplating jumping off a building and jumping in front of the MBTA "T" daily, Chad and Brad reminisce about the glory days.
