You remember very little of your old life. You were born while your birth parent was on-air in a radio station and raised lovingly by loving human godparents. As a child, you took pride in cutting-edge gonzo journalism, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your infinitely useful utility-belt came in. It was essential in creating a real excuse to dress impractically. Your time for greatness is here. Take the red pill!
