You remember very little of your old life. You were born on a speeding bomb-rigged bus and raised lovingly by loving human godparents. As a child, you took pride in cutting-edge gonzo journalism, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your intimidating red bandana came in. It was essential in asserting your undying sense of patriotism. Your time for greatness is here. No surrender, no retreat!
