Slyquil the Jerk Roadkill Technician brags about being “old money,” but everyone knows they’re the offspring of two bathroom pipes who burst at the Nuclear Waste Pier. They ordered a dangerously undercooked wagmi mignon and left the mess for someone else to clean up. Behind their glassy eyes, deep in the center of Slyquil’s skull, there is a broken crazy straw where their brain should be.
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