I created this in ai 3 days prior to my relationship coming to an end. I approached ai in the same fashion I approach automatic writing. I sat with myself, got still and let the first few words that came out without judgment, and this is what produced. I have since touched it up with procreate and now have it looking how i would prefer.
It wasn't until 2 days after splitting up that I took a closer look at this image and realized what was created. It became clear to me that my subconscious was working with me to create something that was happening for me in real time. The words I chose do not reflect the feeling I have from this experience, but the ai had a sense and produced exactly what i needed to hear.
If you look the mycelium doll on the left is me, and partner at the time on the right. We are connected by mycelium, like we all are, but the connection is not equal or balanced and he is literally sucking the lifeforce right out of me. I screaming for my life, essentially.
My subconscious was showing me the truth. So now I am sharing that truth with you, in the hopes that this will all help be apart of my healing.
I am so grateful that I was able to see some of these signs mixed with his anger and behavior around threatening my security and make the decision to leave. What i didn't realize was he just going to so easily let me go. I did it to prove a point, and he didn’t want to fight for me. While that hurts, and I felt abandon. I am beginning to believe he knows he isn't good for me and is just staying away to protect me against doing any more harm.
And now I am realizing the same. He isn't going to change. This song really highlights the confusession i was having and how i almost went back. I never sent him this song thank goodness.
Madness by "Muse" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCmSWw1gLrs
