You remember very little of your old life. You were born in a night market on a rainy day and raised lovingly by a clownfish in a bowl. As a child, you took pride in cutting-edge gonzo journalism, but it soon became obvious that you were meant for bigger things. That's where your feared fists of fury came in. It was essential in asserting your undying sense of patriotism. Your time for greatness is here. Cancel the apocalypse!
